Navigating Childbirth: A Guide to the Stages of Labour
So you found out you’re pregnant. You spent the first trimester with your head in a toilet bowl (yuck!), your second trimester finally starting to gain some of your energy back and now you’re realizing … Oh my goodness, I have to GIVE BIRTH soon. It’s all starting to feel more real.
In comes the frantic googling ...
“How do I know if I’m in labour?”
“What do contractions feel like?”
What are the stages of labour?”
Well, for that last question, I’ve got you covered.
It makes sense that you’re unsure what labour is going to look and feel like. Most people have never attended a birth before their own. Their only image of birth is from Hollywood movies which, I PROMISE you, couldn’t be further from reality. So in this blog post, we’re gonna set the record straight.
You will learn:
The 3 stages of labour
How long each stage typically lasts
What you can expect to feel in each stage
What you can do during each stage
What your partner can do to support you in each stage
Huge caveat before we dive into the juicy goods. You’ve probably heard this said a million times, but I’ll say it again,
Birth can unfold in MANY different ways.
While there are typical progressions and ‘average’ times there really isn’t any normal. The last thing I want is for you to leave this blog post thinking this is the way YOUR labour will progress. Instead, I want you to read this post from a 30 000 foot view, how labour could and may look with a lot of potential deviance.
You COULD be one of the few who’s water breaks spontaneously and dramatically and you are holding your baby within the hour. You could also be someone who experiences pre-labour contractions for weeks on end. I’m so so sorry if this is you (long early labours can be hard.)
Typically, vaginal births follow the following arc:
Early Labour —> Active Labour —>Transition —> Pushing —>Placenta.
The devil is in the detail though, and that’s why nothing beats individualized birth support (ie. hire a doula 😉)
Road Map to Childbirth
Stage 1 (dilation) - Early Labour:
What is going on:
Cervix is dilating from 0-4 cm’s
Cervix is moving from posterior position to anterior position (often occurs pre-labour)
Cervix is softening and thinning called effacement (0 - 100%)
Typically lasts approximately 12 hours (shorter for subsequent births), however it could last much shorter (hours) or spread out over days.
What you might feel:
Contractions irregular in frequency, length and intensity, anywhere from 5 - 45 minutes apart
Contractions may feel like strong menstrual cramps but should peak and then release fully
You are usually able to talk and be present between contractions
You might feel excited, nervous or anxious for what is it come
What you should do:
If labour begins during the night, try to sleep through as much of this early phase as you can
Distraction techniques: watch tv, bake, cook, listen to music, read
Balance rest and gentle movements like walking, bouncing on a ball or light stretches
Eat and drink
How your partner can support you:
Help keep your partner distracted, join them in activities like baking, cooking or watching tv
Safe and consensual touch, kisses and cuddles.
Stay calm, positive and excited
Take care of the household tasks (clean, tidy, make meals, attend to any other children)
Remind your partner this part is often slow. Stay patient and optimistic.
Rest, eat and drink (remember this could be a long journey for you too).
Stage 1 (dilation) - Active Labour:
What is going on:
Cervix is dilating 5 - 8 cm’s
Cervix is softening and thinning (effacement) (50 - 100%)
Lasts approximately 4 - 8 hours depending on different factors (active labour is often longer for first time birthers and can be effected by the use of an epidural).
What you might feel:
You may see some bloody show in your underwear/ pad
Contraction become more regular in frequency, length and increase significantly in intensity
Contractions anywhere from 3-5 minutes apart and lasting for approximately 60 seconds.
You will need more support during each contraction and will not be able to talk through them
You may become less communicative and more instinctual
You may feel the need to moan or use you breath more vocally
What you can do:
Put into practice the comfort measures you’ve practiced: Breathwork, visualization, relaxation techniques etc.
Empty your bladder frequently (every hour)
Try to have a sip of water in between every contraction
Change positions often (every 20 - 30 minutes)
Have a bath or shower (if in true active labour, this shouldn’t slow down your contractions)
This is a good time to go to your place of birth (hospital or birthing centre)
If wanting an epidural, this is a good time to get it.
How your partner can support you:
Give your partner your undivided attention during every contraction
Meet them with eye contact and model slow deep breathing
Reassure them what they are feeling is normal and they are safe
Remind them of the comfort measures you’ve practiced
Coach them through breathwork and visualization
Do not take things personally
Encourage them to try different positions, to empty their bladder and to drink between contractions
Use counterpressure like hip squeezes or sacral presses
Assist them in getting their coat, shoes and bag and getting them into the car (if driving to a different birthing location)
Stage 1 (dilation) - Transition:
What is going on:
Cervix is dilating 8 - 10 cm’s
Cervix is typically 100% thinned effaced
Typically lasts from 1-3 hours (can be much shorter in subsequent births)
What you might feel:
Contractions will now be 60-90s in length and coming every 1-3 minutes. Sometimes it can feel like they are on top of each other without a break.
Contractions are the most intense that they will be
Nausea, vomiting, shaky, cold/hot are all normal.
You may be weepy and cry and express that you can’t do this anymore (very normal!)
You may feel some pressure in the bum and the urge to push
What you can do:
Continue to practice the comfort measures from active labour
Try to focus on getting through one contraction at a time and not looking too far into the future
Change positions often
Remember, this is the most intense contractions will ever be, and it is the shortest part of stage 1
How your partner can support you:
Stay present with your partner during each and every contraction
Continue to support your partner with the comfort measures you’ve practiced
Reassure them that what they are experiencing is normal and it means that they are close to meeting their baby
Encourage them to drink between contractions or offer ice chips
Maintain firm touch, continue with counterpressure
Continue to take care of yourself, making sure to eat and drink
Stage 2 : Pushing
What is going on:
Cervix is 10 cm’s dilated
Cervix is 100% effaced (or thinned)
Baby is low down in the pelvis (note, that even once you get to 10 cm’s dilated, you can ‘labour down’ for an hour, to allow baby to drop down further, to shorten the pushing phase)
Typically will last from 15 minutes - 3 + hours (average pushing phase is 2 hours for first time birthers and shorter for subsequent births.
What you might feel:
There can be a short pause in contractions before pushing, which can be very normal
You may feel a renewed sense of excitement and energy with the realization that you’re about to meet your baby
You may feel a strong urge to push (often this doesn’t occur if you’ve had an epidural)
You may feel baby’s head moving down
You may suddenly become more clear headed and present.
Pushing can be exhausting
What you can do:
You will ‘push’ only during contractions. Typically each contraction will allow for 3-4 strong and long pushes.
Practice your chosen pushing technique, or listen to guidance from healthcare provider or doula
Try to relax your perineum and bum as you push (remember, your uterus pushes your baby out, not your pelvic floor muscles!)
Listen to your body and allow it to guide you through what feels instinctual
Try pushing in different positions to encourage baby’s head to descend
How your partner can support you:
Remind your partner to take cleansing breaths between each contraction (pushing can be very tiring)
Support them through various positions and encourage positional changes
Provide a warm compress on their perineum
Remind them how strong they are, that they can do this and how close they are to meeting their baby
Stage 3 : Placenta
What is going on:
The uterus continues to contract to expel the placenta
Typically takes anywhere from 10 - 60 minutes
What you might feel:
Contractions will taper off significantly, but may still feel uncomfortable
You may feel a wide array of emotions immediately following the birth: You may feel shaky, tired, in complete awe, weepy, in shock, overwhelmed, elated …
You may be so pre-occupied with the baby you don’t notice this phase at all
If baby needs some help or support immediately after being born you may feel nervous, anxious or fearful
What you can do:
Focus your attention on your baby
Do skin to skin with baby for as long as you can (at least 1 hour uninterrupted before any tests).
You may try bodyfeeding at this time
How your partner can support you:
Continue to stay present and connected to your partner - they may be experiencing a wide range of emotions
Ensure your partner and baby are warm and comfortable
Option of cutting the cord
Hold baby (ideally skin to skin) if birthing person is unable
Take photos and videos
Offer them some light snacks or water
Continue to congratulate your partner on their incredible strength
Labour and birth can feel really overwhelming, especially if it is your first time experiencing it. I hope this blog post has provided you with a bit of reassurance and understanding of the typical way that birth progresses, so you feel more at ease.
Remember, while labour generally follows this pattern, it can also vary greatly from person to person so try not to get too wrapped up in the timeline or the specifics. Understand the general arc of birth while remembering your story will be unique. Other ways to get an idea of how birth could look include:
Listening to podcasts of birth stories
Asking folks in your community if they would share their birth story with you
Reading blogs on birth stories
You got this. I’m rootin for you!
Did you enjoy this Blog post? Then you may also enjoy the following blog posts:
Should I use an epidural during childbirth
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