How to choose a Doula
So you just found out you’re pregnant and you’re looking to build your support network for your upcoming pregnancy and birth. Amazing! You’ve heard that a doula can be a great support for you and your partner and are excited to integrate this type of support into your birth experience.
Best decision you’ve made (IMHO).
What’s next?
Ask around your community for doula recommendations in your area. Nothing is better than a word of mouth referral from someone you trust.
Do some googling on doulas in your city. One of my doula clients told me she found me by googling ‘Toronto, Doula, Pilates’ because Pilates was something she was interested in. I loved this!
Do a bit of background research on what a doula is, and what they offer. I wrote a blog post HERE you can check out. Then sit down either alone or with your partner (if you have one) and brainstorm what kind of support you feel would benefit you best. Remember, different doulas offer different types of support.
Contact numerous doulas - my recommendation is that you interview at least 3 different doulas before landing on the winner. In the past, during a meet and greet with a potential doula client I’ve recommended they shop around a bit more before landing on me. I believe it is SO important to pick a doula you connect with. I don’t want to work with anyone who doesn’t want to work 100% with me!
Once you’ve researched doulas in your local area, it’s time to meet with them to see if you’re a good fit. Some call it a ‘meet and greet’ others refer to it more as an interview. Either way, most doulas will provide a free 15- 30 minute consultation to assess whether you’re a good fit for each other.
In my opinion, your doula’s job should be to support you in whatever birth you want.
That being said, I also think it’s important for doulas to look inwards and decide who they feel they can and would support best. And who they want to support. Not every doula is for every person and that’s okay. I have had meet and greet’s with potential doula clients, and been honest with them that I thought another doula would be better suited for the type of support they’re looking for.
So how do you know if a doula is right for you? Here are some questions you can ask when interviewing a potential doula. Not all of these will be applicable for everyone, and I encourage you to use this blog post as inspiration to figure out which questions feel important to you.
Top Questions to ask a potential doula:
Why did you become a doula?
In my opinion, 99% of the doula fit is based on the relationship (okay… maybe 99% is a bit of an exaggeration, but my point is, if the fit isn’t right, nothing else matters!) Asking them this simple question can help you gain a deeper insight into their values, their passion and their beliefs around birth. Understanding who they are as a person gives you so much more information than you can gather from their credentials.
What are your views on ... (insert what’s important to you)?
Before you interview your doula, take some time to sit down and brainstorm what's important to you for your pregnancy and birth. If it's important to you that you do everything you can to avoid unnecessary medical interventions, ask your doula what their views are on unmedicated birth. If for you, being proactive with medical interventions makes you feel safer, make sure your doula respects that perspective and will advocate for you. Not every doula is for every person!
What other services do you offer?
Clear communication on what is included and what isn't in the doula package on offer is essential. Many of my clients come to me because they want bodywork and movement support as part of their prenatal and postpartum care. Some clients want a doula who has extra training in body feeding support. Others choose a doula with other credentials in naturopathic medicine or who can provide acupuncture services. While of course, these services can be found elsewhere, If there is a specific service you are looking for from your doula, make sure you inquire during this process.
What is your back-up Doula system?
I can’t stress how important this is. People get sick. Life happens. Make sure your doula has a backup doula (and a backup for their backup) and are clear with you on what that process looks like. If it’s important to you that you get to meet the back-up doula then make that clear and ask about the process for that to happen.
How will you support me during labour?
Asking this question can give you some insight into what type of support this doula could provide for you during your labour and whether that would feel good for you. I am always very clear with my potential clients where my strengths as a doula lie, and the type of support I often lean towards. Being an RMT, it probably comes as no surprise that I tend to lean towards a very hands on support. I also orient towards movement and have a vast history in anatomy knowledge so tend to give lots of support and education in positioning changes, movement to help with biomechanics of birth and pelvic floor support. On the other hand, I also make it clear where I lack education and experience. I know very little about herbs and naturopathic care so if that is the type of support you think you will want during labour, I might not be the best fit for you (or to look elsewhere for that type of support to compliment my support).
Funny side note: I am a massage therapist. I LOVE touch of all kind and am a very touch oriented person. I was certain I would want lots of massage and pressure and hands on support during my labour but to my surprise as soon as i went into labour I didnt want anyone to touch me. In fact, I would swat my husband’s hands off me instinctively through every contraction. So the moral is, while you can plan to the moon, you truly never know what your body will want and need during labour and it’s important to have a doula and support system that can pivot with you.
How will you support my partner during labour?
One of the most important parts of doula support, is how a doula also supports the partner. Something I would look for in an interview is whether they are curious about what your partner may need? To me, I think of my role as supporting the whole birthing family (not just the person pregnant!). In the same way that each birthing person wants and requires support in different ways so do partners. For me, I’d look for a doula who asks questions on the ways a partner needs and wants support as well and looks as the birthing family holistically.
How will you advocate for me?
One of the important roles of a doula is to be your advocate. While your doula should never speak FOR you, they should be comfortable stepping in and amplifying your voice, reminding you of your preferences and asking you whether they have changed and helping manage any tension or conflict that may come up at the birth. When interviewing your doula, you can get a good sense of whether they are comfortable and confident in this role.
You’ll probably notice there’s a pretty obvious question that I’ve left out from this list, and that is about your doula’s credentials. Many of the potential clients I have met with have asked me about my credentials and my training and I happily share where I trained and the process I went through to become ‘certified’. That being said Doula is not a registered profession in Canada, (as is with a Registered Massage Therapist, or a Registered Midwife) so training can vary significantly to become ‘certified’. As well, the more I’ve educated myself on the history of birth support, the effects and impact of white supremacy and the systemic forms of oppression that exist within our current health system, the more I’ve come to challenge these expensive, mostly white led training doula training programs.
The reality is, I was privileged enough to be able to afford a doula training that cost me over $1,000. These training programs are not accessible to the vast majority of people and often act as gatekeepers to knoweldge and practices that don’t belong to the ones teaching them. Plus, the reality is, I’ve learned more through mentorship, experience and educating myself through books and resources that share traditional Indigenous practices of birth than I did through my doula training program 🙃.
Hope these questions were helpful, and spark a conversation with what is important for you when hiring a doula!
